“I want to thank you for not having to strip search me.”
- Elvis, wearing a jumpsuit covered with shiny metal discs, to the security guard running the metal detector at the Shelby County Administration Building where he would congratulate Mayor A C Wharton for winning two Memphis Faces categories
“Ya’ll just want to go home, then?” Elvis asks, pointing the hood ornament of his white Cadillac toward Graceland. “Let’s go.”
Elvis looks nervous for a guy who is just going home. Probably he hadn’t let the missus know he’d be a little late. Picture her standing under the kitchen clock in a bathrobe and curlers asking, “Do you have any idea what year it is?”
Turns out he has good reason to be skeert. He walks up to the gates at Graceland. The hair, the sideburns and the jumpsuit look perfect.
“Daddy, there he is. THERE HE IS!,” screeches a youngster from Atlanta.
Elvis turns slowly, hands on hips, noontime sun reflecting from his shades, and faces the tourists. Cameras are drawn. They fire.
The process repeats. And repeats.
As another busload of fans rolls towards the mansion, Elvis murmurs “Thank you, thank you very much,” while he sidesteps in the opposite direction. We slip back into the Caddie and go, cat, go.
Reader Quipsselect tongue-in-cheek replies from our readers’ poll:Most Legendary Musician: Donny Osmond Most Praiseworthy Politician: You’re kidding, right? Most Likeable Local: The Downtown Guy (don’t know his name)
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